Couples Therapy
“Relationships take work. Not in your free time, not when you feel like it, but all the time. They are rewarding and need consistency. ”
You feel unappreciated and taken for granted in your relationship.
The intimacy and fire that you had for each other are gone.
You fight over the same issues constantly.
Even though you’re together, there is no connection.
You’re at your ends rope and you’re hoping for one more chance to save your relationship.
At this rate, you don’t know if you’ll be together tomorrow. Sometimes, when you’re dealing with past relationship baggage, you may forget that you’re supposed to be joining together two, unlike experiences to form a relationship. But, it may come with baggage, you were not prepared for. For example, you may be creating a blended family. This brings complications with children and relatives you were not expecting. Or you’re constantly at odds, in a co-dependent relationship, and feel drained. Perhaps, you’re even considering a divorce.
Why is couples therapy so important?
To be honest, as a society we don’t talk often tell others about the challenges in our relationship. We address how good things are, post cute pictures, and brush away anything negative. This creates an air of shame and guilt that prevents us from talking about the not-so-nice parts of relationships.
But, when you’ve spent so much time ignoring the bad parts, the tension builds-up to the point that it may affect everyone around you.
When people think of couples therapy, they think about failure. It’s the end of the line and there is no more hope. That’s just not true. Oftentimes when I work with clients, people are bringing baggage into new relationships, other children, toxic habits, pain, trauma, and loss. What people do not realize is their partner now has to adjust to another person's life. This can cause tension and confusion about what your partner wants, confusion about the future, or stress involving long-distance commitments.
Reasons People come into Couples Therapy in Long Beach, CA
Couples and individuals come to couples counseling for many reasons, here are some of the most common reasons:
Fighting with no resolution that results in frustration and anger
Lack of communication, being unheard, feeling undervalued
Feelings of blame- like you can’t do anything right.
Being unwilling to be vulnerable
Fear of showing weakness and vulnerability with partner
Lack of intimacy
Family stress is impacting the relationship
Partners are growing apart, feeling distressed, or don’t know how to re-engage
Infidelity; emotional or physical
Financial stress
Addiction, healing from trauma
Isolation
Bored or stuck in a rut,
Dealing with stress due to life changes with children, or dealing with control in home
Reasons Individuals Avoid Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy
There are many reasons couples avoid coming to therapy. For example, you may have a fear of being told you’re the problem or believe you should be able to fix your relationship independently. So, the thought of opening up to a stranger makes you uncomfortable. However, the most common fear that brings people into therapy is the idea that couples counseling will make the relationship worse off, or they will be told their relationship is “unfixable”. But, this couldn’t be further from the truth.
Family and Culture Affect How We View Couples Therapy
Maybe, your embarrassment surfaces at the thought of discussing sensitive/taboo issues such as sex, previous traumas, religion/spiritual beliefs, childhood and family traumas, role expectations, and previous relationship issues. These things may be affecting your relationship. I want you to know that topics discussed in therapy are confidential. This is meant to be a safe place to talk about what is impacting your relationships.
“In my previous relationship, we went to couples’ therapy at the end, and that’s often too late. You can’t go after nine years and start figuring out what patterns you’re in.”
Therapy can help you connect with your partner.
A great example of couples using therapy for more than long-standing issues comes from Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. This couple often goes to therapy just to check in on their relationship and to keep issues open. Doing this can really help your relationship thrive. In counseling, you both have the opportunity to clarify what you want in your relationship, address long-standing issues, or check-in to see if you’re on the same page.
Ultimately, I want you to see that therapy is good and can help you clarify and translate misunderstandings. It can help to aid you and your partner in finding deeper closeness, intimacy, and learn to respect each other's love languages.
Couples Therapy is for the Individual too!
Marriage counseling and couples therapy can help you whether you’re a couple or a person who just needs help working through any relationship issues. Whether that is with family, friends, or a significant other. You don’t have to come in pairs to be in therapy for relationships.
Therapy can help you create functionality from any dysfunction and help with minor tune-ups to keep your relationship fresh, positive, and close. Or you can overcome the individual blocks you may have so you can be a better partner.
The Healing Generations Counseling Approach to Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy
Relationships are constantly moving and evolving as new seasons come and go. People change and grow with time, but that doesn’t mean that love is lost and left in the past. Love transforms into something new and more beautiful as time goes on. When it does, it can empower and enrich our own life experiences and our love experiences beyond what we can ever imagine.
At Healing Generations Counseling, I provide a safe place for both partners to be heard and acknowledged in a supportive environment. During the therapy process, I will teach and share tools to increase communication and avoid pitfalls of communication that partners often get into. I will help you to normalize and validate each partner's situation and give you space to vent and emotionally express yourself in a safe environment. I will also be providing you and your partner alternative perspectives to be able to observe and process the issues.
Therapy is about addressing and increasing strengths, not pointing out where each partner is at fault. There will be no blaming, or discussion of who is wrong. Instead, we will acknowledge the positives of the relationship and I will help you find alternative ways to address conflicts and miscommunication. We first need to address truth, which means you can’t continue using failed strategies to address the same problem. We must try new things.
“Therapy is not something to be embarrassed about. There may be something that really hurts your feelings that you’re scared to bring up. Go talk about it with a therapist who can mediate. You’ll walk out of the room feeling like you’re [on the same] team.”
What is holding you and your loved ones back from marriage counseling and couples therapy in Orange County, Los Angeles County, and Long Beach County
Relationships are challenging for everyone. Let me help you relieve the stress and difficulties so you don’t have to do it alone. Sometimes, we live under a microscope where every little thing becomes overwhelming and unbearable. Or, there's a hopeless feeling of defeat and failure. At times, we just need someone to shed new light, show the bigger picture, provide a few new strategies and tools, or someone just to hold space for you and your partner. I hope to be that person for you. Ultimately, I want you and your partner to be in the best relationship you can be in and decide if it is enough to live your best life. I want to normalize that going to couples therapy is used to improve a relationship not simply to just save it. Begin therapy today!
Begin Marriage Counseling and Couples Therapy In Long Beach, CA, Los Angeles County, Or Orange County, CA
Relationships are not easy. There are ups and downs, misunderstandings, and hurt partners. Therapy is an open space for you to breathe and hear from an objective person how to work through the tough spots. At Healing Generations Counseling, you will work with a skilled couples therapist who specializes in marriage counseling and couples therapy. To get started, schedule your free consultation, or get begin counseling in Long Beach, CA by following these simple steps:
Meet with me! Connie Hsu, your understanding therapist
Begin to open up communication and learn how to better love your partner and yourself.
Other Mental Health Services at Healing Generations Counseling
Marriage Counseling and Couple Therapy isn’t the only service I offer in my in-office and online Long Beach, CA counseling practice. Other mental health services at Healing Generations Counseling include individual therapy, Multicultural Counseling, Cross-cultural Counseling, family therapy, life transitions, divorce recovery, trauma therapy, and, therapy for teens, EMDR therapy. I also offer a support group for teen girls and women to foster connections among their peers. Begin therapy today in Long Beach, CA, Orange County, CA, and Los Angeles County, CA, or anywhere in the state of California via online therapy.
“You can stop the downward spiral today and start rebuilding the partnership that you were meant to have.”