What is EMDR and How Can It Help With Intergenerational Trauma?
You have grown up in a family system that has had traumas, fears, and beliefs passed down from generation to generation. You know this is an issue, but some of your family members may not be aware of what is happening or how these traumas and beliefs are impacting their lives.
When growing up, we don't realize the things we grow up with or the things our past generations have grown up with are in us biologically. These past traumas are ingrained and affect our behaviors but we often don't see it that way. You don't see where these things come from nor give them the acknowledgment it deserves.
There is A Belief System That is So Deeply Ingrained that it Automatically Becomes True, Creating a Feeling of Helplessness and Despair.
It starts with our parents labeling us "good" or "bad" children when we are growing up. Underneath this, our parents are afraid of being bad parents and it's out of their control. A child that is labeled "bad" then grows up thinking "I want to be a good child" but finds it impossible to fit into the mold of what their parents expected. This creates a feeling of shame and guilt that carries into adulthood.
For example, men grow up feeling as if they need to be the protector of the family, even if they are not able to express it. This comes from a strong, angry, and abusive pattern that was present in their families when they were growing up. As an adult, they are still carrying this inner rage and may think that they are a monster, but in truth, they don't know how to regulate themselves because they were raised in a situation of rage and abuse.
EMDR Therapy
The big thing with trauma is, in therapy, there is a fear of retraumatizing. People fear facing their past and getting retraumatized. This is where EMDR, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, therapy comes in. EMDR's true goal is not to retraumatize. It is also the only therapy that the military accepts for PTSD and is considered brief (anywhere from 6 months+). It is scientifically based and has been proven to be effective in helping people overcome their traumas.
Trauma is like Peeling an Onion
Once you start peeling the layers of trauma, you find out it's more complex than you once thought. As you keep peeling, you might remember other things. It can then shift from not just this one trauma but now another. Then, it's about being safe in general and feeling secure within yourself.
How Does EMDR Help With Intergenerational Trauma?
EMDR keeps you in the space with me, your therapist. You don't leave the room to process the trauma and it's more like you're looking back at a movie. As we progress, EMDR helps your brain start to process the trauma like a computer glitch, like an "undo" button. Some people have experienced trauma and have no response, like when someone gets in a car accident and just moves on with their life as if nothing happened.
This is because their brain processed the trauma differently and got stuck in time. During EMDR, your body, emotions, and brain are transported into that time when that trauma happened. You will feel those scary emotions and anxiety going throughout your body, but we will be there with you to guide you through it. You will look at it from afar, the present view, and look at it from a child's perspective. We will also look at it from an adult view and visualize it from that standpoint as well.
From this viewpoint, you will think "As an adult, I can help what happened then," which is when reprocessing the memory happens. EMDR will allow you to see that it wasn't your fault and that, as an adult, you can help the child understand why it happened.
Intergenerational Trauma, the Trauma Affects Our Relationships With Our Parents.
It is important to understand that we have trauma with our parents who were the parents when we were children. They are not our parents now as an adult. If we give them that power, we treat them as a monster and us as that 5-year-old. EMDR allows us to see them as they are now and process how they were.
We can take the power back, make boundaries and say that's not okay. It also allows us to forgive and let go of the hold they had. This doesn't mean that their actions weren't hurtful, but it does mean that person no longer has a hold over your life. With EMDR, you can start to get your power back and become the adult that you are today.
Interested in Working with an EMDR Therapist in Newport Beach, CA?
Intergenerational trauma affects how we think, feel and behave. However, you can break free from this cycle with the help of an experienced EMDR therapist. You can reprocess the movie your brain keeps playing and create a new one that is empowering, liberating, and inspiring. To get started, schedule your free consultation, or to get started with counseling in Newport Beach, CA, follow these simple steps:
Learn More About Me! Connie Hsu, your online therapist
Begin reprocessing with EMDR Therapy!
Other Mental Health Services at Healing Generations Counseling
Intergenerational Trauma is one of the challenges I specialize in. I also provide many other services to help you take control and live your best life at Healing Generations Counseling, my online and in-person therapy practice located in New Port Beach, CA. Other mental health services at Healing Generations Counseling include individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, life transitions, divorce recovery, trauma therapy, therapy for teens, support groups for teens, support groups for women, and EMDR Therapy. I also specialize in cross-cultural issues and offer blended family sessions, parent-child conflict counseling, and counseling for sibling rivalry. Together we will explore the negative emotions you may have been feeling and identify ways to manage them. Contact Healing Generations Counseling in Long Beach, CA, Orange County, CA, or Los Angeles County, CA to get started. You can also find relief and support through online therapy anywhere in California.