How To Survive The Holidays With A Newly Broken Heart


Holiday breakups are, unfortunately, very common because of the added toll this time of year takes on relationships. Emotions, needs, and expectations tend to run high during the holiday season with money, parties, families, stress and more money. It makes it hard on everyone. There are many added stressors that aren’t typically there that can set you both on edge.

It’s also naturally a time of year where people reflect on the past year and look ahead to the next year. It’s a time people are more critical about aspects of their life because they’re looking to make changes moving forward.

Breakups are always hard, but the hurt seems to be elevated during the most sentimental time of year. It can leave you feeling isolated, empty and like you’re just going through the motions.

You were excited about the traditions you’ve created together or about making new ones. You were excited to have someone to spend this time of year with, to buy presents for and bring to your office party. But now everything has changed and it feels like it’s changed for the worst.

It’s easy to feel like you’re the only single person on the planet experiencing this loneliness and holiday blues. There are so many things that point to cozy couples, including your social media channel that it feels like everyone else is happy and filled with holiday cheer, except you.

The hurt and the loss can feel so overwhelming and intense at times.

There’s still pressure to go to the holiday parties and follow through on commitments you’d already made. It can feel even harder if anyone asks where your ex is, tries to comfort you or worse -- wants you to talk about it in front of people. Remember, you can always sneak out without saying goodbye if you need. You should never feel pressured to please other people when you’re uncomfortable or struggling.

All these situations, traditions, emotions make you want nothing more than for this nightmare to be over and for the holidays to end. You’d rather just disappear and avoid everyone and everything, but that’s seemingly impossible.

Your first holiday without your ex is going to be the hardest. It’s important to keep some of the old traditions because too much change too fast isn’t a good thing but while you keep some of the old, add in some new ones.

Too much down time and space to think can be crippling during the holiday season. You start to rewrite all the memories in your head, play out scenarios that never happened, create them to be better than you really know they would be. You have to keep moving forward, despite how hard it seems at the moment.

The people you surround yourself with for the holidays know someone is missing in your life and that you’re upset, and it’s okay to bring them up if you need. Sometimes talking about it when you feel it’s necessary and helpful, instead of acting like you didn’t lose a big part of your life can be helpful.

It’s important to do what is best for you when you’re coming off a breakup during the holidays. You’re the only one who knows what you’re feeling and experiencing. Take all the time you need to heal.

Focus on the new beginnings for the New Year. This is one of the best times to talk to someone to reevaluate your life moving forward by deciding on new goals and focus points. Someone who can help pick you back up and give you a safe place to vent and make you feel supported. Breakups are hard but you shouldn’t have to go through them alone.

It won’t always feel this bad. The hurt will slowly dissolve over time and things will get easier. This is an important time to reflect on what you want and prioritize your relationship with yourself. You’ve got this.

Becca MartinComment