How To Let Go Of Previous Relationship Baggage To Make Room For New Love
The ending of a relationship or marriage is one of the most emotionally devastating things we will experience in our lifetime, and unfortunately nearly everyone experiences that pain at least once. The hurt, sadness, anger and all the other emotions we feel while trying to move on makes it feel like we’ll be spending forever trying to get over our ex.
Moving on from a previous partner can feel impossible at times. You still might feel connected to them and are bound together by children, pets, bills, your home, and so on, but even with all these ties, it is possible to get over them.
Starting to date again is often scary and difficult but dealing and processing what happened in your previous relationship will drastically help decrease the amount of baggage you bring to your new relationships.
It’s good (and healthy) to allow yourself to feel sad before jumping into dating again. If you don’t process your emotions, you will still be carrying that baggage around with you. The amount of time to process these emotions are different for everyone so don’t feel pressure to have yourself together in a couple of months. Take the time you need to heal and reflect so that you can move forward in a positive and healthy manner.
During the time of healing, it’s important to take a step back and look at old situations, especially the painful ones. Learning from past experiences is the best way to grow and stop old habits from repeating themselves. It will also make you aware of new and more positive ways to handle similar situations in the future.
Letting old patterns repeat themselves often leaves us up feeling the same devastation and heartache we’ve felt before. You don’t have to give your old baggage power to define your or bring you down. It’s more than possible to heal, and I have no doubt that you will. The days and nights will get easier with time, the aches will stop hurting as much and you will feel ready for new adventures in your life, even your love life.
You have to be at ease with what happened in your previous relationship before starting something new, so you’re not always looking back and comparing your new partner to your ex, and reacting the same way to similar situations. Your new partner is not your old partner, and should not be treated as such.
Breaking past habits will allow you to stop falling into the same patterns in new relationships. That's why it's important to confront these habits instead of burying them deeper down to reappear in the future.
The healing process can, at times, feel difficult to handle on your own, and that’s okay. If you feel you can’t move on or the baggage is weighing you down it’s okay to seek professional help. Talk to your therapist about this baggage and moving on from it, or seek out a new therapist that specializes in the situations you’re going through.
Uncovering and sorting through your baggage and digging through all your past issues is challenging for everyone on some level but lightening the load will make moving forward in your next relationship so much better. It will absolutely take work, harsh realizations, and possibly therapy but I know you will get through this.
You will let your old baggage go and watch new relationships bloom in a new way you didn't think was possible.
Remember -- you’re not alone in this.