How To Let Go Of Previous Relationship Baggage To Make Room For New Love
How to Deal with Past Relationship Baggage
The ending of a relationship or marriage is one of the most emotionally devastating things we will experience in our lifetime. Unfortunately, nearly everyone experiences that pain at least once. The hurt, sadness, anger, and all the other emotions we feel while trying to move on make it feel like we’ll be spending forever trying to get over our ex.
Moving on from a previous partner can feel impossible at times. You still might feel connected to them and are bound together by children, pets, bills, your home, and so on, but even with all these ties, it is possible to get over them.
Taking the next step and dating is terrifying…
Starting to date again is often scary and difficult, but dealing with and processing what happened in your previous relationship will drastically help decrease the amount of baggage you bring to your new relationships. You may be wondering about how to deal with past relationship baggage when you haven’t been out here very long.
how to deal with past relationship baggage…
First, it’s ok to grieve and feel sad before you begin.
It’s good (and healthy) to allow yourself to feel sad before jumping into dating again. If you don’t process your emotions, you will still be carrying that baggage around with you. The amount of time to process these emotions are different for everyone so don’t feel pressure to have yourself together in a couple of months. Take the time you need to heal and reflect so that you can move forward in a positive and healthy manner.
Evaluate your previous relationships and the relationship baggage you may be carrying.
During the time of healing after divorce, breakups, or separation, it’s important to take a step back and look at old situations, especially the painful ones. Learning from past experiences is the best way to grow and stop old habits from repeating themselves. It will also make you aware of new and more positive ways to handle similar situations in the future.
Get rid of the cycle of patterns
Letting old patterns repeat themselves often leaves us up feeling the same devastation and heartache we’ve felt before. You don’t have to give your old baggage power to define you or bring you down. It’s more than possible to heal, and I have no doubt that you will. The days and nights will get easier with time, the aches will stop hurting as much and you will feel ready for new adventures in your life, even your love life. Additionally, breaking past habits will allow you to stop falling into the same patterns in new relationships. That's why it's important to confront these habits instead of burying them deeper down to reappear in the future.
Remember, take it slow with dating
You have to be at ease with what happened in your previous relationship before starting something new. Therefore, you’re not always tempted to look back and comparing your new partner to your ex and reacting the same way to similar situations. Your new partner is not your old partner, and should not be treated as such. If you need some support in this arena, therapy for divorce, separations, and breakups may help you with the transition.
When figuring out how to deal with past relationship baggage, give yourself space to heal and process
The healing process can, at times, feel difficult to handle on your own, and that’s okay. If you feel you can’t move on or the baggage is weighing you down it’s okay to seek professional help. Talk to your in-person or online therapist in California about this baggage and moving on from it. Or, seek out a new relationship therapist that specializes in the situations you’re going through.
Uncovering and sorting through your baggage and digging through all your past issues is challenging for everyone on some level. However, lightening the load will make moving forward in your next relationship so much better. It will absolutely take work, harsh realizations, and possibly therapy for breakups, divorce, and separation, but I know you will get through this.
Ready to begin Therapy for Breakups and Divorce Recovery?
Remember -- you’re not alone in this. You will let your old baggage go and watch new relationships bloom in a new way you didn't think was possible. At Healing Generations Counseling, I work with families, kids, couples, and individuals going through all kinds of life transitions. If you’re struggling to find grounding after a relationship has ended, come in and speak with me, your relationship therapist. Here I will help you rediscover yourself and help you figure out how to move forward in dating and relationships. I know what the end of a relationship can feel devasting and you may need time to grieve and process, but with the help of a skilled and caring therapist, you can begin to move forward. To get started, follow these simple steps:
Learn about your relationship therapist, Connie Hsu
Begin to find yourself again!
Other Services at Healing Generations Counseling
I know that moving forward after a relationship is complex. You grieve, experience sadness, anger, and maybe even relief. However, finding a way to discover yourself and continue on in the relationship world matters. That is why I am here to help you. If you’re looking for a different service, no worries. I offer other services including counseling for divorce, therapy for breakups, and separation is not the only service I offer in my in-office and online Long Beach, CA counseling practice.
Other mental health services at Healing Generations Counseling include individual therapy, multicultural counseling/cross-cultural counseling, marriage counseling and couples therapy, family therapy, PTSD treatment and trauma therapy, therapy for teens, and EMDR therapy, and support groups for women, support groups for teens. All sessions are offered via online therapy in California, with limited in-person options. Begin therapy in Long Beach, CA, Orange County, CA, Los Angeles County, CA. If you’re ready to take charge of your dating journey and begin being your authentic self without the baggage, then get in touch, I cannot wait to speak with you.