New Year-New You
That’s the mantra we all hear right around the start of each year, but what happens when that mantra begins to feel overwhelming and unachievable? It can be easy to get caught up in the big goals, resolutions, and expectations. Yet, it’s also important to take a step back and break them down into smaller, more achievable goals and tasks.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your New Year’s Resolution or maybe even in a post-holiday blues slump, take solace that you are not alone. Realize that you are still on the journey and it is perfectly normal to feel discouraged at times. We all have moments of failure and disappointment, even before we start on our paths. So here are some tips and tricks to help you get back on track and find hope in your New Year.
When the New Year Arrives, it's Natural to Set Goals For What You Want to Achieve.
We often look for ways to change ourselves. We all go into "I'm going to lose weight"; "I'm going to make more money"; "I'm going to get married"; "I'm going to travel" etc. We default to resolutions and goals that we can find in any magazine. They are typical and expected.
These goals are thought to equal happiness, but this isn't true. You can lose weight in the new year but that doesn't mean you're happier. The same goes for making money and getting married. It's great to have goals, but it doesn't mean that you will be happier when they are achieved. In reality, they don't mean anything but a number on a scale or in your bank account. The new year is a time to appreciate what you have and what the old you brought you to be here.
Mental Health Should Be One of the Top Goals
Your mental health should be the new you's number one goal in the new year. This doesn't mean you are trying to fix the old you, it means understanding the old you and creating a healthy mindset to accomplish things. One way to better your mindset is by working with a therapist that can help you to manage your negative thoughts and emotions.
This can help you to look at life from a different angle. You can look at challenges in the new year with the perspective of there is no "no"; and if there is a no, how can I use that to my advantage?
Therapy is a Great Tool
You have a vision for yourself and for what your new year will look like. You have a vision of what your goals will be and what the new you will look like. However, as a therapist, I wish you could see yourself in the mirror right now. I believe that you would see a thriver, survivor, and victor. You have been through a lot and have achieved a great deal. So much so that I feel very privileged to be here and help you on your journey.
Your mental health is important and therapy can help you to do a lot more than just get a diagnosis. It's all mindset, it's all mental and it's not about what other people think of you or what society thinks is important. It's like in sports, if you asked an athlete how they got to the top, they will say it is a mindset. It didn't just happen.
Taking care of your mindset through therapy can help you to achieve a growth mindset. It is important to understand that failures create growth and mistakes are learning experiences. This year, don't focus on the failures, focus on the fulfillment of the challenge and goal. The joy that comes with it is truly fulfilling.
Struggling with Resolutions
You may be someone who struggles with goal setting and who makes resolutions to only drop them after two weeks. This isn't because of you, it is something that is wrong with the resolution and your intentions behind it. When making goals for the new year, think about what does your resolution mean to you? Is it something that you really want and can stick to over the course of the year?
Make sure your goals are realistic and attainable because otherwise, you won't be able to stick to them. Especially, if these goals are tied to a specific number (i.e. weight loss). It is okay to want to make goals for physical activity if it helps in multiple ways (ex. Balances emotions, taking care of your body, helps to stay motivated). However, when we make goals that are specific to numbers, they don't mean anything. They don't hold value and are not set with the right intentions.
Reflect on the Past Year or Years
A way to make sure you are going into the new year with a positive mindset and help you to set the right goals is to reflect on the past year or years. What have you achieved that made you proud? What has been going on in your life that has continuously been going on that you want to change?
There are things that have changed for the positive that are different than they were five years ago. What are they? These questions can help you to be more mindful of what is important in your life and why it matters.
Present
You've reflected on the past and have a vision for your future. Now, how does the current mindset of your past affect your present life? For example, if you are going into the new year with the mindset of "Even though I've been trying so hard, I'm never going to get a job" then it is necessary to reframe this thought. This thought is not beneficial to you and is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Instead, look at it as you are in preparation to have the job of your dreams. Change your mindset to "I'm in preparation to get the job of my dreams" or if you are someone who is single, change the mindset of "I'm never going to get married" to "I'm in preparation for the perfect person for me." If you say "I'm never going to..." you're not preparing for the end result that could be beneficial for you. Change your mindset to something that is more positive and realistic.
For the New You in the New Year
You are preparing yourself for a new year, a new you, and new goals that are more meaningful and attainable. This is all in preparation for a better and brighter life. Whether it's relationships, career, or physical health-related, you can use therapy to help create the vision of who you want to be and take the steps needed to get there.
In therapy, I will ask you "What is the feeling you want to feel? What does your vision for this year look like?" We can then work together to create a vision rather than a resolution. A resolution is like a closure once it's resolved but a vision can morph as you grow and change.
Let Things Go
Preparing yourself to move forward means you may have to let go of some things that have been holding you back. These could be things from the past, present, and even old thoughts that have been lingering. Perhaps even things you haven't done or haven't done yet but mentally and emotionally feel like you've failed. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for things you haven't done and make a new you. Let go of these old thoughts and let yourself free so you can reach that vision.
Some of your goals may not even happen until the end of the year, but it is important to get into a preparation mode that brings you excitement as you progress. By being in a place of excitement and acceptance, you can better identify what you can or cannot control. Acknowledge the things that you have done to make things better and notice those successes. You made lemons into lemonade and that is no small feat. Use this as a reminder that you can take the same energy into this upcoming year and realize your vision.
Begin Individual Therapy in Newport Beach, CA?
Learning how to better prepare yourself for a brighter future and goal-setting is not always easy. Therapy can help better your mindset and help you create a vision for the year. Especially, if your top goal is to better your mental and emotional health. I am here to help you create a plan and support you so that the year ahead of you is full of hope, success, and growth. To get started, schedule your free consultation, or to get started with counseling in Newport Beach, CA, follow these simple steps:
Learn More About Me! Connie Hsu, your online therapist
Start Bettering Your Mindset & Create a Vision for the Year Ahead of You!
Other Mental Health Services at Healing Generations Counseling
Your new year may also other challenges that you may not expect. At Healing Generations Counseling, my online and in-person therapy practice, in Newport Beach, CA I offer a wide range of mental health services to help you reach your goals. The other mental health services at Healing Generations Counseling include individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, life transitions, divorce recovery, trauma therapy, therapy for teens, support groups for teens, support groups for women, and EMDR Therapy. I also specialize in cross-cultural issues and offer blended family sessions, parent-child conflict counseling, and counseling for sibling rivalry. By coming to therapy, you are taking the first step toward your vision and growth. I am beyond honored to provide you with support and guidance as you work to realize your goals. Contact Healing Generations Counseling in Long Beach, CA, Newport Beach, CA, Orange County, CA, or Los Angeles County, CA to get started. You can also find relief and support through online therapy anywhere in California.