How To Be Kind To Yourself With Your Goals (And How It Makes Them More Effective)
Ahhh, New Year, a fresh start, new goals, and the New Year Resolutions. My typical new year's resolutions are very similar to most everyone else: lose weight, exercise, find love, or strengthen the relationship I’m in. I decided to take a different approach to resolutions and goal setting. I am changing my mindset to create goals that seem more enjoyable to me and that would fill my life with more self-love.
Learning Self-Love and Self Care Tips Are Important Tenets in My Life!
Self-love and self-care are two very important aspects of my life. I previously wrote about a few things I do to practice self-care. Such as making my bed every morning and scheduling ‘me-time,' It’s important to carry that over into the new year. This helps me boost my confidence and inspiration to achieve my new mindful goals for the year. And you can find some new motivation and confidence, like I did, with this approach.
These resolutions and Helpful Self-Care Tips Include:
No diets or quick fix health fads, instead of to eat more mindfully and re-engage in feeding my body what it wants.
There are no "bad" or "good" foods, thus I'm not a bad person for eating pizza or fast food. I'm cutting myself a little more slack. I realize I don't need to belittle myself when I choose unhealthy foods. Making certain foods taboo entices me to eat them more. This is because they are more seductive in a way, so to take away that power, I let myself eat them. Allowing myself the choice to eat unhealthy food doesn’t make it feel forbidden anymore. Plus, that makes me not crave them as much or as often as I thought I did before.
Find something to do that enjoy and always wanted to try and feed my curiosity and explore.
Something I’ve never enjoyed doing is exercise. Some people love it, they rejuvenate and have an easy time getting motivated to do it. But for me, the word makes me exhausted and then I am discouraged at my “lack of discipline.” After a long day, the last thing I want to do is go to the gym. I realize that it’s not the exercise I don’t like, as much as the meaning I put behind it - a boring, painful, strenuous, continuous activity that I have to maintain. Therefore, I do not enjoy every other day for 30 minutes, and then feel bad about myself if I skip.
Create Joy in your Goals
Finding something that I enjoy in place of it that fed my curiosity came to me three years ago: rock climbing. I’m addicted. I love it and most times I don't even realize it's exercise. It was something I was always curious about doing, and always wondering how and why people do it, and one day decided, "okay, I will try it and see what it's about..." and the rest is rock climbing history. It was something new and so much to learn and exciting. I am discovering that I can enjoy it indoors and, I discovered a new excitement of doing it outdoors. So I do that and can say I enjoy “exercise.’
Finding new ways to express self-love, and change the relationship I have with myself.
Relationships can take so much out of us. Focusing on finding a partner and looking for ‘the one is so stressful and can create so much self-doubt. It often leads to us sacrificing our relationships with ourselves, and that’s never a compromise we should make. Like Ariana Grande’s song, “thank u, next” you can learn from each of your relationships. Ultimately I learned the most from the one you nurture with yourself. Once that relationship is present, then you will know what you want and would like to share with another human.
Stop Self Sabotage and Name Calling
Self-sabotaging and calling ourselves names, along with being so critical and hard on ourselves while dating shows other’s how to treat us. And no one wants to be treated the way we treat ourselves at that time. I learned the importance of treating myself with kindness and no longer using words that are harmful and depreciate my own values.
Check Your Mindset
Mindset is everything. The more you realize and learn about the self-destructive behaviors in your life, along with your unhealthy patterns, the better your odds are at changing them. Once you change them you feel freer to live a more fulfilling life. Sometimes pinpointing these habits can be challenging so seeking professional help can be a benefit to you to work through and break these patterns.
Set Realistic Goals
Setting resolutions or new goals for yourself doesn’t have to be restrictive anymore. Instead of replacing things completely, be gentle with yourself. Ease yourself in these transitions to make them feel more natural. Add more things you love into your life to create healthier habits, instead of feeling like you’re taking them away.
I’d love to hear in the comments below about your relationship with new year’s resolutions and if you’ve tried anything like this before.
Begin Online Therapy and learn helpful Self-Care Tips In Long Beach, CA, Orange County, CA, Los Angeles County, CA, Or Anywhere In The State Of California!
Have grace and be kind to yourself. Learn how self-care tips and individual counseling go hand in hand. When you begin therapy, you will work with me, an online therapist who specializes in family therapy, couples, cross-cultural issues, and trauma. To get started, schedule your free consultation, or to get started with counseling in Long Beach, CA, follow these simple steps:
Meet with me! Connie Hsu, your online therapist
Begin setting realistic goals and being kind to yourself.
Other Mental Health Services at Healing Generations Counseling
Therapy is another great way to integrate self-care. I offer online therapy at my Long Beach, CA counseling office. Other mental health services at Healing Generations Counseling include individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, life transitions, divorce recovery, trauma therapy, therapy for teens, support groups for teens, support groups for women, and EMDR Therapy. I also specialize in cross-cultural issues. This is a helpful service for those dealing with intergenerational trauma.
Lastly, as an online therapist, I specialize in families, cross-cultural issues, and trauma. I also provide family therapy and support for parents. Additionally, I offer blended family sessions, parent-child conflict counseling, and counseling for sibling rivalry. When you’re ready to begin therapy, I am here to serve you in Long Beach, CA, Orange County, CA, Los Angeles County, CA, or anywhere in the state via online therapy in California.